


Insecurities

by roundandtalented



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Blindfolds, Double Penetration, Established Relationship, M/M, Mutual Penetration, Oral Sex, Post Game AU, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-05 23:18:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1835842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roundandtalented/pseuds/roundandtalented
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux Captor is insecure. You knew that, your friends all knew that, fucking everyone who ever met him could likely figure it out easily enough. Sure, he huffs and puffs and has straight up decked you in the face before when you were being an idiot, but you know he's not all he can talk himself up to be. He is far from the unshakable hacker you thought he was as a wriggler.</p><p>And as he cups your cheeks, peppering tiny kisses over your ear fins, you remind yourself that he's not the only one the game shook to their core.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insecurities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roundandtalented](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roundandtalented/gifts).



> I was filling out my Drone Season application about a month back, and fell in love with a prompt I wrote. I prompted myself. Wow.  
> So yes, I wrote this for me.
> 
> Recommended listening: [Crystal Castles - Vanished](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zx6x4FcSPV0)

He asks for it every single time. At first, you'd been concerned.  
Did he not like looking at you? Were you not who he wanted to picture while getting off? Was he scared of looking you in the eye and realizing this wasn't what he wanted any more?

You were terrified. Turns out, so was he.

Sollux Captor is insecure. You knew that, your friends all knew that, fucking everyone who ever met him could likely figure it out easily enough. Sure, he huffs and puffs and has straight up decked you in the face before when you were being an idiot, but you know he's not all he can talk himself up to be. He is far from the unshakable hacker you thought he was as a wriggler.  
And as he cups your cheeks, peppering tiny kisses over your ear fins, you remind yourself that he's not the only one the game shook to their core.

You won't take off your shirt in case you or anyone else sees the jagged, ugly scar around your middle where you were once cut in two.  
Sollux Captor likes to be blindfolded when he's most vulnerable because he's more comfortable with his other senses. 

"You have it?" he asks you, voice hushed even though there's no one else within miles of your hive.  
"Of course." Your voice nearly echoes in your respite block- The two of you haven't gotten to getting much new furniture. Or putting doors on any of the rooms. Or much else, really.  
He seats himself in your lap, eyes already closed. Sollux eagerly wraps his arms around you, hands twisting in your hair as he kisses you, slides his tongue into your mouth. He's a mess, a sloppy kisser, completely over eager, and you adore every bit of his affections. He's gentle today, less teeth involved. That's the only tip-off that you get in terms of letting you know how he wants this, red or black.

He can't settle, and you suppose that's for the best. Because you know enough about him from your time as a sprite that it's hard not to hate how awful he is, but equally as challenging to not give in to how utterly sad and wretched his path in life has been. It's hard to hate Sollux Captor when he already hates himself.  
You wrap your scarf around his eyes, worn thin with time and use. It's folded double, tied neatly at the back of his head. This is its only use now. You've grown tired of wearing so many layers all the time, just as Sollux grew tired of teasing you for them. 

He relaxes immediately in your arms, shoulders less tense and back no longer straight like he makes it when he's nervous. He doesn't have to see what he's doing now, he can feel it instead. And he does.  
Sollux trails his fingers over your face, down your neck. He tugs at your shirt but doesn't dare to remove it, as much as he might want to. He rolls his hips into yours, despite both of you still being dressed. Once, twice, he moves on, hands skimming down your arms, down to where your hands rest on his hips.

"Okay." he deflates further, forehead pressed against your own. "I'm ok."  
You nod, barely moving at all. That's what you were waiting for.

You help him out of his shirt, tugging it carefully over his face and horns, tossing it onto the floor next to the coupling platform. He tries to help you get him out of his jeans, but really he just ends up sprawled on his back while you kiss down his thighs, mouth chasing denim as you pull the old things over his knees.  
He gasps, quiet and barely there as you mouth up the inside of his leg, the crease where thigh meets hip. You pepper your kisses across his stomach, making him giggle, breathless and with his tongue stuck out of his mouth, then back down his other leg. 

He hums appreciatively when you lap at the sheath of his bulge, canting his hips toward you while still laying on his back. Spindly fingers find your horns, careful and leading as he puts your mouth where he wants it, lower, lower still. He moans, completely unhindered when your tongue lathes over his nook, again when you tease around the edges. Sollux fidgets, when you tease him. Probably to keep himself from getting annoyed, even though he's told you he kind of likes it.  
Your pants hit the floor, a pile at your feet, and you hurry back onto the platform, frustrated that you had to step away at all. You bury your tongue in him and he moans, unsheathes on your face and you don't care. 

You lap at the base of his bulges, the part where they come together, but from there you would have to pick as side and that's just not how Sollux works. It always has to be both with him, not one or the other. That much has never changed with him, likely never will.  
You busy his bulges with your hand instead, letting them twist around your fingers and squeeze while you fuck him with your tongue. At some point his gets a hold of your horns again, holds you to him, in him, and moans loud and long when you just get sloppier, no method to how your tongue laps at him, dips into him.  
Sollux directs you lower and you go without a struggle because you know what he wants, you know how he likes it. You were inside each other's dirty minds for at least a sweep, you know and remember every little thing that makes his back bend, voice come out a shaky, scratchy moan.  
You swirl your tongue around his chute and that's the result you get, startled and shorter than you were expecting, but you suppose maybe that's just the temperature difference that he'd forgotten about somehow between when you started on his nook and now.

He doesn't pull away, or push you back, though. He shivers and shakes as you lap at him, press the tip of your tongue against his chute that you know he cleaned, just for you, just for this. Mostly because he fucking loves having anything in his chute, but you know tonight what he wants in his chute is your bulge, and you maybe let that go to your head a little.  
You fuck him with your tongue until he's open and loose, wanting more that you can't give him with just your mouth. You know because he gasps the words, hushed and needy but you hear them anyway.  
When you pull away from him, he sits up, tries to pull you back.

"Don't you dare fucking stop!" he snaps at you and your roll you eyes, knowing he can't see you.  
You shoosh him, crawl over him and ignore the way he growls. He's all bark, no bite, you know that by now. You can be a right bitchy little thing when he stops with you, so you know. By now, you know.

You sink your bulge into his nook and his muttering breaks off with a moan. He lays back down, let's you pin him to the platform, your bulge curling inside his warmth. His own two twist between you, still trying to hold their grip on your fingers as you circle your hips.  
He makes less noise, when you're in his nook. Enjoys it less, because you've only got one bulge and you know he wants two. One for each hole. Its his duality shtick and you can help but feel he maybe takes it over the top, but you don't really mind. Not with the way he constricts around you, cards his hands through your hair and pushes himself further onto your bulge, like he can't get enough of it. 

You feel his nook drip, wet against you while you roll you hips, getting deeper in him, as far as you can go in that hole.  
You tell him, whisper into his ear that you can feel how bad he wants you, how wet he is. He shudders, nook rippling around your bulge in a way that makes you moan, low and soft. He squirms when you go to pull back out, holds you from getting up quite yet, kisses up your jaw.

"I want you," he whispers back, like anyone could possibly hear him other than you. "I fucking want you."  
He admits it like he's insecure about that, even though you just had your tongue in his chute mere minutes prior. Even though you've done this all before, had him beg for release from you too many times to count.

Not that he hasn't gotten the same out of you dozens of times, but still.  
You chirr at him, kiss him knowing he can taste himself on you. He moans into it, bucking onto you harder, trying to get more inside him. You thrust your hips, not roughly, just enough that he pants for breath, your bulge lashing inside him. And when you pull away, this time he let's you. 

You sit this time, pull him into your lap but sitting with his bare back to your still clothed chest. Sollux spreads his legs eagerly, let's your fingers dip down into his nook, pull back out to smear his wetness over his puckered chute.  
You can feel his bloodpusher against your chest as he pants, mouth open and scarf still covering his eyes.  
Getting a finger into his wastechute is a bit tricky, but rewarding when he moans, clenching tight around your single digit.

"Another," he gasps, because he can tell. "I need two."  
You know, but you nod against his cheek anyway. You dip the same finger back into his nook, along with another, scooping out his own lubrication before pushing both fingers in.  
His back bends, and he pushes down onto your hand, moaning openly. You finger him, slow and steady and he's so vocal for you, sucking in air when you take your hand away again.  
Your bulge goes for his nook again, but with a bit of focus, you manage to get it to slide into his wastechute instead, slick because you've just been letting your own nook drip down onto it. Sollux clutches at your arms, biting his lip as you stretch him open around you. The sound he makes as you push in further than your fingers had worked is nearly a whimper, soft but not pained.

"So good," he shifts his hips, let you slide in completely, until he's stretched wide around your base and not wanting you any deeper. "So good, Eridan."  
You kiss down the back of his neck as you return your hand to him, coax his bulges apart and downward. Sollux squirms as you direct his own bulge to his sopping nook. Its a bit tricky, much like it was for you to finger him, but eventually it bends and slips in, filling him completely. 

He tosses his head back, moans loud and long as you move your bulge back and forth, lazily fucking him while he's so stretched, so amazingly tight.  
His weight is easy to support since he hardly weighs anything, so he's easy to move how you like. Which, conveniently enough, is what he wants of you. He let's you practically pick him up and drop him on your bulge, a little rougher than before but he moans just the same.  
An idea strikes you, and without any warning, you move him forward, off your lap but you keep your bulge inside him, his own still swollen and fucking his nook. You press him down, into the platforms plush surface, back curved so that he's still on his knees while his arms are tucked under his chin.

The position you're in allows you to watch your bulge slide into him, his chute squeezing around your base as you hold yourself deep, lashing roughly inside him.  
Sollux all but screams under you, blanket held tight in his fists as he writhes, trying to wriggle farther back onto your bulge but he can't. You can't go any deeper, as much as he wants. His bulge, the one you'd been toying with while the other was occupied with his tight nook, searches under him, back, to your bulge at his chute and then to your nook.  
He surprises you when he slips inside, no more than a few inches, but enough to offer your nook the contact you've been desiring so badly.  
That's all you need to spur you on. His bulge, hot compared to your own body temperature, curls and twists within you, the same way it's twin must be doing inside him. He's sobbing, pleasure filled moans and gasps as he fucks himself while you lash inside his chute. 

"Oh fuck, oh _fuck_ ," he moves his blindfolded face so that he's not pressed into the mattress, so that he can sob out your name, desperate and needy.  
You slam into him, driving deep and he clenches tight, choking off a sob-turned moan as he ripples around you, around his own bulge.  
His material coats the inside of your nook and you follow him, filling his ass with your own violet material. He rocks back onto you the whole time, fucking himself through his orgasm while you shake and whimper, hands tight on his hips but mindful not to hurt him.

"So good, so so good," his voice quiets, tired and raw as he slows, his bulge slipping out of his nook limply. He doesn't let your bulge go from his chute though, milking every last drop of material you can offer him with a few ragged pants and movements of his hips, grinding his ass onto you.  
You whine, exhausted and wobbly, and he let's you go, your bulge resheathing as you watch your colour leak from him. He stays in the same position, covered in both gold and violet from the waist down and chest heaving with gulps of air. It takes him a while to come back, and you don't mind.

Sollux flops onto his side, trying to catch his breath before he starts shaking too, well fucked and utterly exhausted. When you lay down next to him, he's scooting closer immediately, tucking his still blindfolded face into your chest so he can cover your collarbone in soft, tired kisses.  
There's no proclamations of quadrants with you two, never has been. Part of you thinks it might be nice, to hear him admit it when he's flush for you, pitch for you. The part that spent the better part of two sweeps stuck in a game construct with him, sharing every thought and feeling, know that's just no how Sollux Captor works.

"No more headache?" you ask him, voice quiet just in case. He shakes his head against you, balling his fists against your well-loved t-shirt. You put one hand on his back and the other in his hair.  
"Careful, you might jinx it." he warns. His voice sounds sore, but you know that just means you've done a good job. That much he told you once. 

You kiss the top of his hair, rub circles into his shoulder blades until he's limp against you, a pile of content and rattly purrs. You ought to clean up, both the platform and him. But that requires moving and not having him tucked up so nicely with you, and that just won't do.  
When you go to untie the blindfold, to help him get more comfortable so he can maybe nap, his spindly fingers catch yours.

"Not yet." his voice is a whisper again, but not angry.  
You back off, both hands going to his back, wrapping around him and holding him safely against you.  
"Just a few more minutes." he sounds like he's reasoning with himself more than you. You don't say a word, you just kiss what's not covered on his forehead and give him an affectionate squeeze.  
A moment later, he does the same, thin arms wrapped around your torso. He takes them back the second he's done though, slips them against your chest, fists his hands in your shirt just so he has something to hang onto. 

He dozes off like that, blindfold still over his eyes. You might actually leave it on him for a while, see if he wants it off when he wakes up. You don't know what sort of insecurities he has that he'd want it on when he sleeps, but, you won't ask for that.

He'll tell you when he's ready. He always does, bit by bit. Like he's afraid you're still the 6 sweep old he once knew that would tease him for it. And you suppose that's why you still keep your shirt on with him, even though he'll slide his hands under it every now and then, trace the scar around your middle with his bony, key worn fingers.  
You figure, even with your insecurities, there's proof enough that the two of you are good together. The best kind of awful together.  
That, and how the two of you trust each other not to push too far, and to understand when you need a break. 

You breathe in his scent from his hair, bury your nose in his spastic crown. He sighs in his sleep, simple and content and you nearly melt. Sollux nuzzles against you in his sleep, legs stretch while tangled with yours. His feet hang off the bed and that's adorable to you.  
You think you might just try without a shirt on next time he wants you. You think. You survived the end of the world with him, you think you can maybe handle showing him the scar around your middle. Especially if he's blindfolded like he wants to be at the same time.


End file.
